Why I Became an Esthetician (And Why I Had to Walk Away to Find Myself)

by Ryane Ashley

I didn’t become an esthetician because I had a lifelong dream to be in beauty. I became one because I finally stopped betraying myself.

For 10 years, I worked in corporate America as a digital asset manager. I climbed the ladder, earned the six-figure salary, collected the praise when it was given but I also absorbed the weight of being overlooked, silenced, and misunderstood. I was called too quiet. Then too direct. I’d watch people project their insecurities onto me, then call me difficult when I set a boundary. However, I stayed because I thought hard work would eventually be enough. That it would speak for me. But in that world, it never did.

I had to learn to trust my discernment

So I floundered. I beat myself up. I slept a lot. I told myself to push through, tighten up, stop being weak. That’s what my brain said. That’s what the world had taught me. But the truth was, I couldn’t get out of bed most days. I was stuck. Frozen. I couldn’t function and I didn’t understand why.

Eventually, I stopped caring if tomorrow came. I got on medication. I restarted therapy. I did what I could to hold myself together with the pieces I had.

But the first real shift came when I decided to wash my face every day. It wasn’t about skin, it was about me. That tiny moment became mine. A moment. A quiet rebellion. A way of whispering to myself, “I’m still here.”

The breaking point came when a coworker, known for stirring conflict with nearly everyone, was promoted to manage me. After enduring months of targeted and undermining treatment, I began documenting what was happening, hoping to be protected. I had the support of multiple colleagues who affirmed that I had been, reasonable, calm, professional, and collaborative and that I was on the receiving end of exclusionary, unprofessional, & hostile conduct. But their statements and my clear documentation was not investigated. I was told I had issues with authority and before you ask... yes and yes. I wasn’t even angry, I was depleted. So, I left my job without a backup plan. No promise. No safety net. I just knew staying any longer would cost me more than any amount of money could justify.

I had to find wholeness after erosion

After leaving corporate, I started helping my mom in her salon. She has been a licensed cosmetologist since before I was born, so the beauty industry has always been a part of my life. As a child, I felt safe in the salon. I was shy, but I was surrounded by strong, caring women who were full of life.

Still, entrepreneurship scared me. I thought the structure of corporate life would protect me. But it didn’t. Somewhere between folding towels and watching my mom’s clients exhale in her chair, I fell in love with the process, the space, and the quiet care behind it all. I started asking questions, and the answers made sense in a way that felt natural to me.

Suddenly, everything I had learned from my degrees to my corporate background started aligning. I wasn’t drained anymore. I could spend 15 hours working on something for the salon and still feel whole at the end of the day. That’s when I knew: this is what freedom feels like. Not depleting. Not projecting. Just peaceful. Sustainable. Mine.

Becoming an esthetician gave me my voice back. In this work, I’m not told who to be. I don’t have to code switch. I don’t have to over explain my boundaries to people who were never listening. I get to show up fully; soft, strong, intentional and create a space where others can do the same.

I’ve learned. There is no reward for betraying yourself. No prize for sacrificing your body and spirit just to keep the peace. Shrinking to fit into spaces that never deserved you, or over-performing just to preserve the mirage of balance... none of it will save you. Eventually, you learn that you cannot find stability in places that require you to stay in survival mode. And knowing when to walk away before you break is one of the most dignified choices you can make for yourself.

You need more than a comfy salary to feel whole. Wholeness begins the moment you choose yourself. Yes, financial security is essential. But if that’s all you have, the projections from others and the weight of life’s demands will slowly drain you of your joy, your well-being, and your will to keep going. That’s self-neglect dressed up as success.

And the truth is: You weren’t made to carry everything and feel nothing. it’s okay to want more than survival.

So here I am. At this moment, I’m in the thick of it. I’m still undoing years of self-betrayal but I’ve learned this: I wasn’t unqualified. I was underestimated. I am not too quiet or too direct, I speak when I can add value or clarity. And I wasn’t difficult, I was just in the wrong environment.

I no longer believe I have to sacrifice my peace or shapeshift to be successful. I can thrive without betraying myself. Because now, I build in spaces where I don’t have to earn the right to exist. And now, I understand: I am more than capable of building a career on my own terms. I have the intelligence, work ethic, tenacity, discernment, humility, and vision to create a business that supports me, not just financially, but mentally and emotionally too.

I will no longer sacrifice alignment for a paycheck. I no longer confuse emotional safety with job security. I now know I can create a life where I am well, not just paid. Freedom isn’t just about quitting a job. It’s about reclaiming the parts of yourself you were taught to suppress in order to belong. I belong to myself now.

finding joy again through skincare

To the women, especially the Black women, who feel stuck, silenced, or disconnected: Do the inner work. Trust your intuition. Remove yourself from anything that doesn’t feed your soul. We are the truth. And the moment you choose yourself; even if it’s just washing your face one morning, you’ll start to feel her again. The version of you who never left, just got buried under survival.

And that's why Ryane Ashley is about more than skin. And this is me. In mine.